Cleaning in a "kid" storm

Anyone who knows me has heard me talk about my kids...A LOT! LOL. I do love to talk about my kids. They are the best things that have ever happened to me. They are the reason that I get up everyday, and they are what keeps me going. Even on those days when I just want to hide under the covers and not face life. My kids force me to get up and get moving. Literally. They crawl in my bed and bug me till I have no choice but to get up. Who really needs an alarm clock when you have hyper active children that are constantly wanting fed and stuff lol.  All laughs and jokes aside, my kids are great.  My oldest is in college right now, working hard towards a veterinary degree. My youngest two are eleven and thirteen. My thirteen year old daughter has autism, and while it can be extremely challenging at times, she really is the light of my life. Both of these kids keep me on my toes. With my daughter, the hardest part of parenting her is dealing with her outbursts and tantrums. As she gets older they have become increasingly more violent. She over turns furniture, throws things, kicks, hits, and screams.  Don't read this and think that she is a bad kid because she's not. She gets frustrated because she has trouble expressing herself and making her wants and needs known. Imagine being trapped in a body that you really have limited control over. You know that kicking and punching things or breaking things is wrong and that you are bound to get in trouble for it, but you've just become so overly emotional that your body no longer listens to the part of your brain that's telling you to calm down. There are so many things, so many external stimuli going on around you that you get overwhelmed. Sometimes I think that there is so much going on in her head that she thinks she needs to scream to get her voice heard, not understanding that the noise is in her head.  I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for someone with autism. In so many ways she is like a normal girl her age. She likes to dress up, and wear make-up. She loves doing hair and wearing jewelry. She plays with dolls, likes to sing and dance. She listens to a lot of the newer, more popular recording artists. She loves Katy Perry. She also loves Disney movies and can sing just about any Disney song ever made.

Autism doesn't limit who my daughter is as a person, it only limits her ability to communicate properly. There are other factors involved as well. She needs help with dressing and bathing. We're still working on potty training, and she does wear adult pull ups. She goes to a special school for kids with developmental delays and in some aspects has the mental age of around five years. In other ways though, she's really skilled. Her memory is amazing. She can use a computer with very limited assistance from others. She draws very well and is very creative and imaginative. I try my best to encourage creativity with both of my children ( I did with my oldest as well). We do a lot of crafts together, play games, write stories, and other things that I think will spark their imaginations. My own parents always encouraged me to use and further develop my artistic talents and I do the same with my kids. My youngest son is an excellent artist and my oldest seems to have to inherited my talent for writing. I'm very proud of all three of my kids and all that each have accomplished.

So I've prattled on about my kids and what they are like, and what talents they each possess. By now you're probably wondering what any of this has to do with the title of this post. Don't worry, I'm getting to that. LOL.
Going back to where I said that I encourage my kids to be creative and imaginative. I've always had a deep love of the arts. I'm not such a great house keeper though. I've struggled for years with trying to balance maintaining a clean home and not stiffing my kids creativity. I'm not the kind of parent that is more concerned with the way the house looks or what people will think when they stop by and less concerned with if my kids are learning, having fun, and enjoying life. I'd much rather build a giant castle out of empty boxes, glue, and paint right on the kitchen table, than have to worry about washing dishes or sweeping the floor. This kind of attitude has gotten me in trouble more than once, especially with my mom who thinks that no matter what you are doing, and no matter where the kids are, a home should be 100% immaculate at all times. Yeah, well, unless you have a maid, this isn't a reality. Especially if you have young kids living at home.

And dads too ;)

This doesn't mean that I never clean. I do, a lot. Honestly, it seems like all I do is clean. The thing with me though is that I don't really let it bother me if the house is a disaster for a little while. There will always be time to clean and things that need cleaned. My kids won't be little forever and this is the time when I feel they need me the most. What do I want them to grow up remembering? That I was so obsessed about keeping a clean house that they couldn't be kids and have fun or express themselves? That I was so busy always cleaning that I never had time for them? Hell no! I want my kids to grow up remembering that daddy loved them and we had the best time ever. I want them to grow up knowing that everyone makes messes, no one is perfect, and life isn't about being perfect. It's about experiencing things, trying new things, exploring, and learning to appreciate what they have, the people in their lives, and the joy of just cutting up and letting go. Do I have them help me clean up afterwards? Well, yeah, sure. Who wouldn't? My kids have chores that they are expected to do, responsibilities that they are taught to manage, and I try to make everything that we do together a learning experience. I just feel that it's important to have fun while doing it. My house will never be immaculate as my mother thinks it should be. I have kids in the house. Things get broken, things get knocked over. Drinks get spilled and an occasional food fight breaks out. The best thing is that no matter what kind of mess I'm faced with, it can be cleaned. Things can be replaced. Material objects won't last forever, but memories do. I want my kids to have some of the best memories possible from growing up and I don't want their only memory of me to be me yelling and screaming because the house is a mess.

My kids are not abused. They are not neglected. They have enough food to eat, clean clothes to wear, and for the most part they are clean but for those days when we have a glitter war, or play outside in the rain, I have a bathtub. Sure my house may at times look like a wrapping paper cyclone blew through it, but my kids had one hell of a nice Christmas. My clothes may not always be folded but they are clean. The floor may not always be swept or mopped but there will be time for that later. The most important thing to me right now is spending as much time as I can with my kids, loving them, playing with them, teaching them, and helping them grow into the amazing and caring adults that I know they one day will become. Everything else can be put on hold, my kids come first, and no matter how messy my house may appear, it was made that way with love. What else really matters?